Japanese Reading Report: 27 October 2024

This week I read deeply, but not widely. I read a good chunk of Lolita, watched a fair amount of フルーツバスケット 1st Season, and a single volume of manga. The Lolita section is quite long and, while not super graphic, might be disturbing because of the contents covered. Incidentally I implemented a simple tag to mark content that covers adult-oriented content so that it's easier to navigate around. If you have a history with sexual abuse I recommend skipping this one.

ロリータ

At the start of the week I was close to giving up on this version of Lolita. I was enjoying what I read, but I was wracked by the pain of not having total comprehension of the Japanese (ignore that I wouldn't have total comprehension of an English version either) and spent one afternoon deliberating on what to do next: keep reading or pivot to a more approachable book? I decided that I couldn't forgive myself if I gave up. If I read the book in English first I'd never get to it in Japanese, but the reverse order probably won't be the case. So here's my lengthy report on the week reading Lolita.

Starting from chapter 10, Humbert Humbert comes to live with the Haze family in New England. The entire description of the home is filled with negativity and, just like earlier chapters, there is particular attention placed on hating Mrs Haze, the woman showing him hospitality.
It's strange that when I read his derogatory statements my immediate reaction isn't, "What a horrible man," it's, "Glad I'm not like them". I feel like my heart seeks his approval, and I'm simultaneously aware that no adult could meet his standards. This theme continues for just about every instance of hate that Humbert brings up (which is not uncommon at all), so just imagine my distress at those points, I suppose!

After a chapter of dejection Humbert finally sees Dolores Haze (Lolita) for the first time. He dedicates the rest of the chapter to poetically describing how perfect she is. He really does have a way with words. Even though I'm reading in Japanese I'm totally convinced that the English underneath it all is something special.

Chapter 11 introduces Humbert's diary chronicling his time spent observing and interacting with 'L' (Lolita). I passed a few iconic lines in this chapter. The first was his recognition that the content of the diary would incriminate him but,

顕微鏡で見ないとわからないようなこの筆跡を解読できるのは、愛情あふれた妻だけだろう。
The second noteworthy scene was when Humbert uses his tongue to remove a foreign object from Lolita's eyeball. While parts of the scene were fairly easy to understand, I felt that I missed the moment that the object went into Lolita's eye, so I had to re-read the page to make the two points meet.

This was the part that made me worry that reading in Japanese would rob me of essential parts of the story. In hindsight I will at least say that there have only been a handful of scenes that, like this one, gave me a sense that I was really missing something. That isn't to say I wasn't missing things at other times (for all I know my entire report could read like delusional fan fiction), but I'm at least more confident about most of my reading.

Chapter 13 is not in the diary format, but I honestly found the prose more or less the same. Humbert still describes his daily life spent with ヘイズ夫人, and Dolores. This chapter features the first scene where Humbert reaches climax while accompanied by Dolores. I enjoyed reading Humbert's messy blend of guilt and pleasure (mostly pleasure). The fact that Dolores seems unaware of it, and that he never mentions it to anyone (except us, the readers) contributes to this sense that Humbert's lives every moment of his life weighing the sins of his inner world. I wonder if he could have lived a happy life passively generating pleasure from the company of young women without taking matters into his own hands, or if this book is the fate of all people like him. He references a song where a man sings to a girl he loved, Carmen, who he shot dead just moments earlier. I'm unsure if this is a confession that he's aware of the danger he poses to Dolores or if it's just his way of being romantic. I tried looking up the song but couldn't find any version which matched the lyrics (even partially).

Chapters 14-16 were not so much a blur as a lull in the story for me. Dolores is preparing to go to Summer camp, much to Humbert's dismay. There was an interesting part where Humbert describes Lolita as a separate entity from Dolores. One day, inevitably, Dolores will grow up, but Lolita ― the nymphet Humbert obsesses over ― is a static concept that just maps perfectly onto Dolores at her current stage in life. The two month Summer camp is eating at Humbert's mind since he knows he won't see her for two of her "best" months. The end of chapter 16 had one sweet and one bitter moment.
I adored when Dolores ran out of the car right before her mum drives her away. She dashes upstairs to hug Humbert goodbye. As someone in a long-distance relationship I could relate to that "one more moment" feeling. My partner and I always try to squeeze in that final embrace right up to the moment that one of us has to board a train or aeroplane to travel thousands of miles apart.

The bitter moment, of course, is the "love letter" from C. H.
After Mrs Haze and Dolores drive off, the housekeeper hands Humbert a love letter. The first part is about what you'd expect, but after a paragraph break Mrs Haze breaks the façade and writes an urgent letter encouraging Humbert to leave before she returns. The first time I read this I took it as the "revelation" that she had discovered his improprieties, but later (ch 20) Humbert references this letter again and says that at this point his feelings remained safe. I re-read the chapter after the new information and in hindsight I wonder if the reason I took it that way was because I was primed by external media discussing the "revelation" moment. Anyway, Humbert decides not to leave.

From chapters 17-20 Humbert marries Charlotte (Mrs Haze, now Mrs Humbert) and anticipates Lolita's return (she's still away!). At Hourglass Lake he fantasises about drowning Charlotte. He references the Carmen song again (this time just a mention of the gun) saying that he couldn't kill her. Considering he didn't have the same thought about Lolita I wonder if that means that his capacity to kill in this instance has some parallel to his capacity to love (or his desire to preserve).

In chapter 21 Humbert puts up a fight in order to stay in America with Lolita. He pulls the, "I'm the man of the house" card to shut out any thoughts Charlotte had of a vacation to England (to be fair I wouldn't want to go on a vacation to England either). In a scene where Charlotte is apologising for planning without him, she inquires about the locked drawer in Humbert's desk. He says he keeps the key hidden and she should mind her own business.

Chapter 22 had two very fun sections. The first was Humbert detailing his plan to use sleeping medicine to earn time with Lolita. After some experimenting he finds that nothing was strong enough to give him the security he wants, so he goes to the local doctor and begs for the best medicine available (it's for his own insomnia, I'm sure you understand...). The doctor relents and prescribes the strongest thing he can. The medicine's purple colour was highlighted, and reemerged several times as the story continued. Purple is such a vivid, uncommon colour, so it was hard to forget about it any time it came up again. While driving home, Humbert describes how beautiful the town is. It was like watching a motion picture. I could feel the warmth in the air, the bright greens and blues, and the optimism in Humbert's breath. Of course that leads right into... returning home to find Charlotte who stares at him like her soul had completely evacuated from her body.
Charlotte had found his key, opened the drawer, and read the diary. She starts by listing all of the cruel names Humbert used for her.
ヘイズの奴、でぶ、古狸、鼻持ちならないママ―――おばかさんのヘイズは、 もうあなたの言いなりなんかにはならないわよ。
Humbert tries to control the situation, explaining that the diary is just a manuscript, and that any similarities to Charlotte or Dolores are a coincidence (I don't think anyone was buying that line). He moves to the kitchen to get some alcohol, but then suddenly fate(?) swoops in and Charlotte dies. Just like the scene with the eyeball and the tongue, the space between points X and Y didn't fully connect for me. I read over it twice to see if I missed something, but still couldn't connect the moments. Maybe this time it was meant to give the sense of shock to better place the reader in Humbert's position, but I can't say for sure. Another thing to pin for a future English read.

The following two chapters feature a brief "investigation" into Charlotte's death ― she was hit by a car, and the description of her body is really gruesome ― and then Humbert insisting that he recovers Dolores from camp by himself (he wants to have full control over the message Lolita receives to play into his goals).
Humbert makes arrangements to retrieve Dolores from 'Camp Q', explaining on the phone that Charlotte is in the hospital and not to tell Lo so he can explain in person. He then spends the rest of the day in a nearby town giddily shopping for clothes he wants to dress her in. There had been a lot of questionable things in the story up to now, but when he listed her measurements and other vital information it felt like it crossed a weird line for me. I think it was because his methods for determining her vitals all relied on paying particular attention to her at times that she wouldn't have been aware of it.
He considers taking one of his "purple pills" to sleep, but also worries that if he takes one of his only 40 available it will spoil an opportunity he has with Lo. He decides to rough out the night instead.

Chapter 26 is less than a page short. Humbert is in a haze. He repeats "Lolita" for one fifth of the total chapter length and orders the printers to fill the entire page with her name, a request not fulfilled in either English nor Japanese. I can only take this as a nod to the level of control Humbert has over the story. He can twist the words of others, and he can conceal his intentions in all kinds of flowery language, but he's ultimately vulnerable to the whims of editors, printers, and Nabokov himself. He has no agency.

Chapter 27 spans the entire duration from picking Lo up from 'Camp Q' until she finally falls asleep in the hotel on their first night together.
Honestly it just was nice to see Dolores again. I'm sure it's intentional in Nabokov's writing (and for Humbert's goals of inoculating the reader), but she always feels like a breath of fresh air, and it's a pleasure to read Humbert's beautiful descriptions of her.
Humbert and Lolita drive off together. Lolita is a bit distant towards Humbert, and when he asks why she says it's because she doesn't think he loves her. She clarifies that it's because he didn't kiss her. That flips a switch in Humbert. He hastily parks the car and does exactly that. You can really feel the desperation in his narration. Despite the fact that it jeopardises his long-term goals with Lolita, he just can't help himself. Their session is interrupted by a police officer who asks them a question about another vehicle, and Lolita later tells Humbert that his kissing was bad.

Driving through a storm, Humbert drives by a motel but strongly opposes the thought of stopping there for the night. There was a long translator's note about Nabokov's history travelling through America with his wife and how that informed Humbert's apprehension about motels (it sort of boils down to the walls being thin). Eventually they arrive at a hotel and, after some pleading, Humbert secures a room with a twin bed for them. Lolita says she can't sleep in the same bed as him because Charlotte will divorce him, but Humbert insists that she obey him (playing the "I'm your dad now card") for the duration of the trip to save money (not the real reason but it did make me curious about the state of Humbert's funds).
At dinner downstairs Humbert pulls out his pill bottle, which he describes as,
＜パパのパープル・ピル＞
Lolita notices the pills and asks about them. He lies, saying they're vitamins, and asks if she wants one. She says yes. They go back up to the hotel room and Lolita, in a drug-addled torpor, mumbles that if she were to teach Humbert how to kiss properly he'd have to promise not to tell her off. He continuously insists that she goes to sleep until she eventually passes out. And then... he leaves the room, locks the door, and takes a walk downstairs.

Chapter 28 is another "Humbert wants you to know that he's not like those guys" chapter. He spends the entire time in a mania explaining that while he could take advantage of Lo in her current state, he is choosing not to. He mentions Annabel again, only to contrast Lolita against her. Annabel died pure, I suppose, but Lolita is "already impure". He goes over the historical precedent for his desires (he loves to cite ancient and foreign societies where relations between adults and children are normalised) and talks about how his soul is split in two (angle and devil).
He wanders around a common area of the hotel, noting a small group of girls around Lo's age, and then walks into another room to get fresh air. A strange man strikes up a conversation with him. The man asks where he "found" Lo. Humbert simply responds with "What?", but the man continues to ask questions that imply that he knows Humbert's game, and that he's of the same flock. Humbert keeps his mask on the entire time, insisting that Lo is his daughter until eventually leaving. This encounter just exacerbates his mania and he staggers away, heading back up to the hotel room, opting to take the stairs rather than chance proximity with the group of girls from earlier. The chapter ends as he enters the hotel room.

フルーツバスケット 1st Season

I didn't have much to say about this series because the content was almost identical to the original anime. I was even starting to feel like I was going to burn out before I got to anything new. Thankfully episodes 16 and 17 both featured new content that I enjoyed. It was backstory for うおちゃん explaining how she looked up to 透's mother but was dejected by how softer she was than the image うおちゃん had built up of her. After getting to know the family she realises that part of what frustrated her was that her life at home was dysfunctional and 透 and 今日子's was so compassionate. She uses their home as a second place to live for a while.
One night she is getting picked on by a large group of other delinquent girls when 今日子 shows up and saves her, cementing her as "still a bad ass" in addition to being a loving mum. うおちゃん finally sees that one doesn't have to exclude the other.

This week included the remake versions of the 杞紗 and 燈路 episodes. Both were as good, if not better, than their OG counterparts. I really like those characters, and I liked how 由希 was able to connect to 杞紗's struggle in particular.
Another episode I was anticipating was the one featuring 花島.
Folks, I couldn't be more disappointed. The camcorder motif was totally lost. The 3DCG first-person house exploration was totally gone. I was totally unimpressed. The end of the episode still had the emotional payoff I expected, and I still enjoyed feeling the friendship between 透 and 花島, but it was a disappointing to have this iconic episode delivered so flatly.

I didn't make it to the end of the series this week, so I'll hold off on final thoughts for now, but I have to say my biggest fear came true with the 花島 episode. The 2001 version may have some non-canon events, some odd casting choices, and a little bit of jank here and there, but right from episode 1 it was clear that the director was interested in exploring the form of anime in a unique way. The 2019 anime (so far) is more finely tuned but also more generic. I'm still enjoying it, but I'm not feeling blown away by novel storytelling techniques or anything.

少年のアビス

少年のアビス１８巻 cover.

I've been following this series since 2022. My experience with this series has been a bit hit or miss over that time, but this is the last volume, so it was good to finally get closure if nothing else. I've actually read all of the major works by this manga's author (峰浪りょう). My general opinion of her work is that she writes very strong character stories, but has trouble ending things.

The final volume manages to just close out the key points of the story without feeling overly hasty, but a few events felt too coincidental and the payoff at the end didn't really do it for me. Ironically around volume 8 or 9 there was some mid-story closure that I still feel was better handled than the subsequent 10 volumes.

In the volume's favour, I enjoyed the final flashback contextualising a relationship between some key characters, and I liked that a decent amount of closure was given to the most important characters in the story.

The 峰浪りょう shrine.